


Go Get Her, Dad

by NorroenDyrd



Series: Should Never Have Existed [12]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Anxiety, Eventual Romance, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Mutual Pining, Parent Inquisitor (Dragon Age), Parent-Child Relationship, Poetic, The Descent DLC, Widowed Inquisitor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 19:11:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15492750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NorroenDyrd/pseuds/NorroenDyrd
Summary: Extract from the journal of the Inquisitor's adult son, written during the events of The Descent, as he pondered his widowed father's relationship with Cassandra (or lack thereof).





	Go Get Her, Dad

**Author's Note:**

> I tried not to focus too much on the identity of the Inquisitor and his son, other than the former being in love with Cassandra and the latter struggling with an illness, because I want this story to be enjoyed even beyond the context of the AU it belongs to.

Maker, I can't breathe. I am feeling like... Like there is something stuck inside my throat, and chest, and gut, all the way down to the pit of my stomach, swelling all the time, growing tighter and heavier, blocking all air. As though the very worst days of my sickness are back again - but I know that it's not that. My blood is almost clean now - as clean as it will be, I suppose - and I have my potions, and this wonderful hound to warn me of the symptoms. No, it's not that... Not that... It's not an infection that stifles me, not a fever - it's simply an unuttered scream.  
  
Well, that turned out poetic. Quite a grammatical construction, with emphasis and everything. And as it turns out, stringing words together like this is a fairly decent distraction (is this why Varric became a writer?). Yes, this could work as a way to keep the, let's say, front of my mind occupied, while the back is being hammered at by the thought... The thought that I have already lost one parent to darkspawn, and I can't lose another. I can't. I can't. I can't.  
  
Oh great. I had to write THAT part out too, didn't I? Now I can't look at my own journal without the scream bursting through. In small, squeaky portions. Almost like a hysterical laugh.  
  
Turned over a page. Must start over. With something less likely to punch a hole through my mind. Oh, I know. I will spell out what I will tell him when he returns from this Deep Roads expedition. And he will return. He will.  
  
And when he does, I will lead him aside, and I will say:  
  
"Father. Despite all your comically elaborate attempts to pretend otherwise, it is obvious to everyone how you and Seeker Cassandra feel about one another. And I just wanted to say... I just wanted to say that you need not be afraid. Certainly not of me.  
  
"I will not deny that it is odd, imagining you with another woman. Odd, and sometimes hurtful. You know as well as I do that we both miss Mother, and we always will. And that's what this hurt is - missing her, grieving for her, continuing to love her, deep in our hearts. It should not turn into anger at all the other women in the world, whose only fault is being alive while she isn't. And I swear to you that I will not allow that hurt to turn into anger, into hatred; and I promise you, again, that you need not be afraid of that. Of me.  
  
"Because you know what, Father? As I sat here, in the safety of Skyhold, waiting for you to come back from the Deep Roads, I had plenty of time to think. About all the things that I had already considered in the past, many, many times. Things that I am more certain of now than ever before.   
  
"We all have so little time to live - and this time may run out far sooner than we expect. And I think that it's so much better to fill that time with love and contentment than with anguish and self-doubt. No matter how our fates may turn out, no matter what next dangerous adventure being Inquisitor may lead you to - I want you to be happy. Or at the very least, at peace.  
  
"And if this is how Cassandra makes you feel, please, please stop pretending that you don't care for her. Maybe... Maybe start by encouraging her to talk to you? I am reasonably certain that she will not push you away as fiercely as you are telling yourself she will.  
  
"It's all right, Father. It's all right to fall in love again. To have someone fall in love with you. Cassandra is not Mother - but she is not supposed to be, is she? She is her own person, and I believe that she is quite amazing. Not that you require my blessing to court her. Just go out there and open your heart a little. It won't do to waste these precious fleeting moments on dead-end pining".  
  
Still needs work, obviously. I am not an orator; was never meant to be. But I think it gets the message across. And anyway - what matters is him actually being there to listen to me ramble. Which he will be.


End file.
